We've Known Each Other for 45 Seconds. Why Are You Selling to Me?

There is a certain kind of person on LinkedIn whose efficiency deserves admiration. The moment you accept the connection request, before they have had time to learn who you are, the message arrives: “Hi, great to connect! We help industry leaders reduce costs and accelerate growth with AI. Do you have 30 minutes next week?” We have known each other for less than a minute, yet you have already diagnosed my pain points, designed the solution, and helpfully arranged my calendar. At this point, it is no longer sales. It is fortune-telling, except even a fortune-teller usually asks for your birthday first.

I know sales is not easy. People have targets to hit, prospects to find, messages to send, calls to book, and a great deal of silence to endure. Reaching out to strangers again and again takes resilience, so I do not resent people for introducing a product, nor do I think selling is somehow distasteful. What wears me down is the speed with which a brand-new connection becomes a procurement process before we have exchanged a single genuine sentence.

Many of these conversations follow an astonishing rhythm: the first message says “Great to connect,” the second introduces the product, and the third drops a Calendly link. It feels like speed dating with the fast-forward button stuck down. We have barely said hello, and somehow we are already discussing the wedding venue and payment method. Renaming a mass pitch “networking” does not magically give it warmth. Accepting your connection request does not mean I have applied to become a sales lead, and replying “Nice to meet you” is not a coded request for a twelve-page deck.

The best salespeople, in my experience, are deeply human. They are not in a hurry to prove what they have; they first try to understand what another person is building, what has their attention, and whether they can genuinely help. If you want to know someone on LinkedIn, you might try an old-fashioned method that is now approaching extinction: talk to them like a real person. Read something they wrote, ask a sincere question, or discuss something you both care about. A few natural exchanges are far more memorable than two seconds of pleasantries followed by a quotation.

I completely understand that you need to sell. But before you sell, please remember that the profile on the other side of the screen is a person, not an avatar waiting to be converted. That person may be busy, may already have received ten identical messages today, or may genuinely need your product but not want to be pushed into a meeting room during the first minute of knowing you. Relationships can absolutely become business, and many good businesses grow from relationships. But a relationship has to become a relationship first. Do not plant a seed and immediately crouch beside it asking, “Hi, just following up. Is there any reason you have not produced fruit yet?”